The following is an update on my father-in-law's surgery from my mother-in-law. I think it sums it all up pretty well. Dear God, Thank you for successful quadruple bypass for Larry, yesterday, Wednesday. Thank you for a skilled surgeon and his team. Thank you for two wonderful daughters who were with me before the sun came up. Thank you for a faith based hospital giving care beyond expectations. Thank you for very special "bonus sons" who took care of kids and daily matters. Thank you for family and friends who prayed and cared. Thank you for sleep. Amen. The breathing tube just came out at 6:00 a.m., this morning. Thank you, Lynn
12/3/09
How
11/9/09
Caught up in a world of movement
It's easy to be distracted by the motion all around us. I seem to have an attention span that rivals my four month old daughter. Lights, motions, sounds, they all capture me. Sometimes though, we need to simply finish what we started. I've mentioned before that I am firestarter, but right now I need to tend to the burning and manage the flames.
10/6/09
One piece of grief for a whole bowl of happiness
I'm currently sitting next to my son who is throwing an absolute fit about having to eat one piece of pasta (delicious, savory, creamy pasta) made by my beautiful wife. This one piece of rotini is small, about the size of a quarter, has become a death sentence on his high chair tray. You'd think it contains razor blades, rat poison and every other device used by evil strangers who pass out contaminated Halloween candy. One small piece of pasta that he could, and possibly would swallow whole any other time, but for some reason, and that reason is most likely because he's two, he simply refuses to eat this cursed piece of form flour and water. If he managed to somehow choke down this tiny morsel of demonic noodledom, he receive a whole bowl full of fresh cantaloup (a favorite dessert of this particular little foodie). I may have made this worse by setting the bowl of heavenly fruit right next to me, and in front of him, while I'm typing this. Interspersed between screams of "all done" and "can'alope" are periods of silent longly over a bowl of sweet delicious fruit. However, one thing stands between this protesting toddler who's pushing the bounds of authority and a simple bowl of happiness...one, small piece of lukewarm pasta. I wonder how many times I've delayed, or worse yet lost out on something due to my inability to deal with one, small dose of perceived discomfort. I say perceived because that is exactly what is troubling my son. He has perceived this small bit of dinner will be the death of him, yet if he only tried he would ask for more. In fact, he's eaten plates of this same dinner before, yet at this moment he can't bring himself to even give it a try. Has this happened to me? Have I miscalculated the cost of perceived suffering and avoided trying something that would have granted an amazing reward? Or has God, in His grace seen that I am, at times, a whiny little toddler and granted me what He saw fit? As I type this Griffin is enjoying his bowl of cantaloup, indulging in the sweet juice of each piece. I have reassured him he is loved and he said "Thank you, thank you, thank you." Meanwhile there is a lone piece of rotini sitting rejected and cold on his tray. Enough grief, enjoy the fruit.
One piece of grief for a whole bowl of happiness
I'm currently sitting next to my son who is throwing an absolute fit about having to eat one piece of pasta (delicious, savory, creamy pasta) made by my beautiful wife. This one piece of rotini is small, about the size of a quarter, has become a death sentence on his high chair tray. You'd think it contains razor blades, rat poison and every other device used by evil strangers who pass out contaminated Halloween candy. One small piece of pasta that he could, and possibly would swallow whole any other time, but for some reason, and that reason is most likely because he's two, he simply refuses to eat this cursed piece of form flour and water. If he managed to somehow choke down this tiny morsel of demonic noodledom, he receive a whole bowl full of fresh cantaloup (a favorite dessert of this particular little foodie). I may have made this worse by setting the bowl of heavenly fruit right next to me, and in front of him, while I'm typing this. Interspersed between screams of "all done" and "can'alope" are periods of silent longly over a bowl of sweet delicious fruit. However, one thing stands between this protesting toddler who's pushing the bounds of authority and a simple bowl of happiness...one, small piece of lukewarm pasta. I wonder how many times I've delayed, or worse yet lost out on something due to my inability to deal with one, small dose of perceived discomfort. I say perceived because that is exactly what is troubling my son. He has perceived this small bit of dinner will be the death of him, yet if he only tried he would ask for more. In fact, he's eaten plates of this same dinner before, yet at this moment he can't bring himself to even give it a try. Has this happened to me? Have I miscalculated the cost of perceived suffering and avoided trying something that would have granted an amazing reward? Or has God, in His grace seen that I am, at times, a whiny little toddler and granted me what He saw fit? As I type this Griffin is enjoying his bowl of cantaloup, indulging in the sweet juice of each piece. I have reassured him he is loved and he said "Thank you, thank you, thank you." Meanwhile there is a lone piece of rotini sitting rejected and cold on his tray. Enough grief, enjoy the fruit.
Ephesians 3 t
8Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, 9and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things.
Verse 8 was the verse that solidified my call to ministry. I was at a summer camp and during the alter time at the end I remember praying and weeping and then God gave me Ephesians 3:8. I was 13 and had never read it before, but when I did that day, it became clear that I was to be a pastor.
Paul's language in this verse is awesome, I still don't fully grasp it, although this is what I do get:
"Although I am less than the least of all God's people," - I never have killed anyone, put anyone in jail, or for that matter even persecuted anyone for their faith, but I continually use this to humble myself. It's easy to get a big head (for me at least) and when I need to knock myself down a few pegs, I just repeat the fact that I am less than the least of God's people. It helps put me in my place.
"this grace was given me" - I'm not God's gift to anything, rather, it is because of God's grace, given as a gift that I am even able to be saved let alone lead a church. His grace bought my life out of the pit of hell, from being a rebel to being His son.
"to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ" - At first I use to think this defined a part of my call, ministry to non-Jews. However, if you read Ephesians in context, Paul's ministry is uniting peoples under the family of God. Jews were/are the chosen ones, but Paul's role in the Kingdom is to open the doors to the Gentiles. He's welcoming the historically unwelcomed, and that where I think it sets the stage for my call. It is a call to redemptive influence, and a call to wholeness, found in Jesus.
What are your thoughts regarding chapter 3?
9/30/09
A question from Sunday's sermon sticking with me on Wednesday
So this past Sunday I was fortunate enough to preach to Habitat, our new church, as we continued our journey through the Sermon on the Mount, a series we're calling The GodLife. On the schedule was Matthew 5: 29-30.
If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
As you can see, a section that really isn't the hugs and handshakes of "Your Best Anything Now" Christianity. This of course is the great part about preaching through Scripture, you cannot ignore the difficult stuff. Without getting into everything, what was simply stated as the main point was that our attitude and action towards sin must be drastic and severe. Sin always leads to action, it lead to man being cursed, to God sending Jesus to pay a pay our ransom through His death, as well as it will lead to the final judgement by our sinless and holy God (the only one able to judge and worthy of our worship).
However, the one thing that has challenged me this week is one simple question we can ask ourselves when identifying sin in our lives, is this act or thought contributing in the perversion or preservation of God’s original intent?
If our purpose is to worship God and be in fellowship with Him (as it was in creation and will be in eternity), then my actions and attitudes must preserve God's intent. However if my actions and attitudes are in anyway contrary to God's original intent, even in the slightest way, then I am living in perversion to my created purpose, and the result is sin, and it must be dealt with.
As you can imagine, preparing for this sermon killed me. I am destestable in the light of holiness, yet God's grace has made it possible for my rebellion to be forgiven and to be adopted into His family and share in the family business of reconciliation. So as I walk through the day, my litmus test is simple, is this perversion or preservation of God's idea and original intent?
A question from Sunday's sermon sticking with me on Wednesday
So this past Sunday I was fortunate enough to preach to Habitat, our new church, as we continued our journey through the Sermon on the Mount, a series we're calling The GodLife. On the schedule was Matthew 5: 29-30.
If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
As you can see, a section that really isn't the hugs and handshakes of "Your Best Anything Now" Christianity. This of course is the great part about preaching through Scripture, you cannot ignore the difficult stuff. Without getting into everything, what was simply stated as the main point was that our attitude and action towards sin must be drastic and severe. Sin always leads to action, it lead to man being cursed, to God sending Jesus to pay a pay our ransom through His death, as well as it will lead to the final judgement by our sinless and holy God (the only one able to judge and worthy of our worship).
However, the one thing that has challenged me this week is one simple question we can ask ourselves when identifying sin in our lives, is this act or thought contributing in the perversion or preservation of God’s original intent?
If our purpose is to worship God and be in fellowship with Him (as it was in creation and will be in eternity), then my actions and attitudes must preserve God's intent. However if my actions and attitudes are in anyway contrary to God's original intent, even in the slightest way, then I am living in perversion to my created purpose, and the result is sin, and it must be dealt with.
As you can imagine, preparing for this sermon killed me. I am destestable in the light of holiness, yet God's grace has made it possible for my rebellion to be forgiven and to be adopted into His family and share in the family business of reconciliation. So as I walk through the day, my litmus test is simple, is this perversion or preservation of God's idea and original intent?
9/24/09
Commericals for Cotton.
I think it struck me yesterday that it is pretty obsurd that a textile has its own commercial and theme music. Heck, this one version of the ad shows the indie folk "It girl" Zooey Deschanel as she croons her way through a very cool and yet very typical day, to the joy found in cotton. Cotton, where do you get off having a campaign? I mean there are people sitting around the room, getting paid to dream up advertising methods for a natural fiber! Does this seem a bit ridiculous? Have you ever been in a store considering two shirts made from different materials and all of a sudden the cotton theme song comes into your head, and you thought "you know I will choose this 100% cotton shirt" as you throw that lyrca shirt on the ground in a moment of consumer enlightment? Me either, but then again I don't know if I've been in the market for a lyrca shirt.
So why does cotton need an ad campaign? I guess I can see the Cotton Growers of America coming together in the 70's, as Rayon and Polyester were taking over racks at Sears, thinking "we've got to do something!" Showing the wholesomeness of cotton, whose very existence played a pivotal role in the fact that slavery existed in America (something not present in the commericals), was the way to combat the evils of manufactured materials. It's not like it needed the help, after all won't Rayon and Polyester instantly melt to your body when near an open flame? And nylon, after its punk rock days, had the unfortunate demise of going mainstream and being forever associated with parachute pants...so you know that's some bad press it won't recover from, unless Hammer's comeback, comeback tour is a success.
Where are the commericals for wool, linen and silk? How about an ad campaign for jute, a God's sandpaper fabric? Or hemp, staring the cast of Dude, Where's My Car in a spoof of Fast Times at Ridgemont High? I guess products made from the butts of worms are too sophisticated to bow down to the powers of commercial TV. Congrats cotton, you are forever in the fabric of American and the fabric of our lives.
9/16/09
My Life As Stinky Pete
It may not be the best thing to base your theology on a kid's movie. I assure, I'm not. However, its easy to see God throughout His creation and the stories we tell, like Toy Story, or in this case Toy Story 2.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!
At the conclusion of TS2 - that's some insider lingo...Stinky Pete's mission to get the Round Up Gang to the Toy Museum in Japan is ruined as Buzz, Ham, Rex, Slinky and Potato Head rescue our pal Woody and new friends Jessie and Bullseye from their upcoming trans-Pacific flight. Pete's view on being a toy was largely informed by the fact that he was never purchased or played with. Rather, it seems from my speculation based upon dozen of time watching this movie with Fin, Pete was simply found and has been defined as part of collection rather than part of a family.
His understanding of what it is to be a toy is all screwed up. In a villainous diatribe at TS2's climax Pete, right before his ultimate downfall, cries out in a fit of rage:
"You idiots, children destroy toys!"
Toys are designed to be played with. My two year old son loves his toys. He received a real Buzz Lightyear with all the bells and whistles, and he plays with it everyday, but in his joy, he's broken an element that controls the wings. Fin doesn't care though, but for some reason, for some time, I was disappointed it was broken. Now this once perfect toy is incomplete, but to be honest my son plays with Buzz everyday and it brings him so much joy. Why should I care if the wings won't pop out automatically? Buzz is a killer toy and he fulfills his role by making my son's life full of fun and adventure.
I think sometimes I have been like Stinky Pete. I keep inside my box, I try to avoid the annoyances of life like passion and pain in an attempt to stay pristine. I think if we're honest, a lot of us do. We live in our urban or suburban boxes, clustered and safe. Like Pete we try so hard to live lie by our definitions. For him it was a life within a box of cardboard and cellophane, away from the dirt and damage of kids. For me, its in a box of drywall and windows, safe in my work. But that's not my original intent.
Like Pete I was created, I was made and made with a purpose. Not to live a safe life in a box of my own choosing, but a life of dirt and danger. I was created to be fully alive in a world of incompletion and failure, of risk and disappointment, as well as a world of wonder and joy, of beauty and awe in order that I may bring joy for the one I was created for. I won't get into the nuances of freewill and sovereignty here, but I know that my purpose was, is and will forever be to bring joy to God. Its not always convenient or comfortable, however I know that unlike kids and their toys, God will not simply and flippantly destroy me, rather He enjoys when I live a life that people notice Him within my actions and words.
I guess as we are starting our new church I want to make sure that we're becoming a people that understand our original intent. It's not to simply gather dust in a safe place away from the world around us, its to be mixed up in the toy box of life (sorry, I felt like I needed to throw that one in there). Its to be in the world, to be alive in life where we experience God. To be able to get dirty, and at times broken in fulfilling our role of bringing joy to our Father, Creator and Friend.
I don't want to be Stinky Pete. I don't want to have a fundamental misunderstanding of my role in life. I don't want to live in a box.
God, help us take the risk of living out our original intent.
9/8/09
God and/in Food
Apples, Mahi Mahi, Ice Cream, Fresh Bread, Good Coffee...
A while back I met with Aaron Youngren, pastor of The Line in Chicago. As we walked and talked from a local bar, he told me about to chefs from the neighborhood (Lincoln Park) who were going to assist him in a teaching about Food and Worship. It's a great topic and the idea of giving God glory while eating the fruit of His creation is perhaps one of the most tangible ways worship happens in our everyday life.
When I was a pastor on staff at a local church, I remember eating in my office one day the standard lunch fare, which was either a peanut butter and jelly or leftovers...neither of which made a huge impact on my life because I can't even remember what it is I ate that day...until dessert. That day it wasn't tiramisu or molten cake or even ice cream, it was a beautiful Royal Gala apple. While I can't remember anything distinctive about its appearance, I can even now, two or three years later, remember its crunch, taste and texture. I've had apples all my life, but that day I remember a sense of the Divine while eating what I undoubtedly picked up from the local Jewel, mixed in with dozens of other apples.
Worship and food go hand in hand. Read this post from The Line's food & worship experience. It's only natural to taste how good God is in His creation, and I was reminded of this the other day when my beautiful and amazing wife made this...and tasting absolutely killed me, it made me once again thank God for how good He makes creation...for the purpose of us to enjoy and then to worship Him.
Eat something good, and thank God He created it in the first place...especially if its a recipe that someone who loves you made...
9/1/09
firestarter
I think too much and do too little. It's a constant battle of theory and action, of potential and kinetic. Trying to sync my brain and the rest of life can be like setting up a blind date destination for agoraphobic xenophobes. I get lost in my goals. I can start one million fires, but managing the flame and watching them burn, I have no patience for or aptitude. I rely on the people around me to keep me grounded, focused and simple. Maybe I need a new metric system, something concrete and custom to measure myself against. Maybe I need a new location to churn out the work within me. Maybe I need to relax and manage the sparks as flickers and flames grow into fires of progress.
8/28/09
8/27/09
My life next to a snoring dog
Max is a Boston Terrier we "rescued" from Craigslist.
I say rescued because we bought him from his previous owners who we think were apartment dwelling Jews (Maxwell use to freak out at the sight of Christmas trees and enjoys laying on our deck in the sun). I don't think we actually rescued him from some horrible fate, but it makes us feel better to use that language.
Max lives with us in a home where he has his choice of premium napping places; the couch, chair, our bed, his bed, in the sun through our patio door and so on...Yet without fail Max always chooses to lay next to myself or my wife and snore. He is constantly snoring. This isn't a cute baby snore like our newborn daughter graces us with (the sound of fresh lungs enjoying the life-long process of every inhale and exhale), this is a squish-faced snot-nosed snore that sounds like a wet rubber ball trying to fit through a crack in a glass door. Its loud. It can be annoying, and its anything but subtle.
However there is something about it that seems relaxing and without fail it constantly makes me wish I was napping too, without a care in the world.
7/28/09
Who Do I Think I Am?
I've been going through an identity crisis. Perhaps it is the lack of continual sleep I gladly suffer for the sake of our new born daughter, perhaps it is the lack of concentration I feel on a daily basis. Maybe its God shaping me, or maybe (and I do hope this is not the case) it is me shaping myself. I know I'm no alone in this dilemma. There are plenty of people who suffer through this same type of battle. The symptoms include plenty of motivation but a lack of movement, the continuous temptation to compare oneself to others and to constantly be aware of ones' shortcomings. Scarcity, anxiety, and to be honest, guilt are all there as well, yet they can all be dressed up as a type of passion and motivation; however these are not the tools God uses to shape His own.
Israel and Saul are my Biblical touch points for my current condition. I say that as though I am some sort of hypochondriac. Israel's covetous lust for a tangible king in order that she may be like her neighbors caused them to settle for Saul, a man with a lot of promise, but whose own feelings of inadequacy, impatience, and scarcity caused him to not only lose God's blessing, but threw him headlong into a life of constant turmoil.
Israel, if only you could have found satisfaction in your King and Savior...
Saul, if only you could have sought God as the momentum and not your own power and wisdom...
I ache for Saul, and Samuel. These two leaders whose lives were designed for one another, and yet whose action caused the other to grow angry, resentful and left both wondering where they went wrong.
Father shape me. Rid me of the lust of success and bring me to a place where my unique and divine design can best serve your Kingdom and bring others into a lifesaving knowledge and relationship with Jesus. Let the Gospel have a hold on every part of my life and I pray that I may lead through the wisdom, power and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Israel and Saul are my Biblical touch points for my current condition. I say that as though I am some sort of hypochondriac. Israel's covetous lust for a tangible king in order that she may be like her neighbors caused them to settle for Saul, a man with a lot of promise, but whose own feelings of inadequacy, impatience, and scarcity caused him to not only lose God's blessing, but threw him headlong into a life of constant turmoil.
Israel, if only you could have found satisfaction in your King and Savior...
Saul, if only you could have sought God as the momentum and not your own power and wisdom...
I ache for Saul, and Samuel. These two leaders whose lives were designed for one another, and yet whose action caused the other to grow angry, resentful and left both wondering where they went wrong.
Father shape me. Rid me of the lust of success and bring me to a place where my unique and divine design can best serve your Kingdom and bring others into a lifesaving knowledge and relationship with Jesus. Let the Gospel have a hold on every part of my life and I pray that I may lead through the wisdom, power and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
5/21/09
Hello 30, I'm Mike.
...or Michael, I haven't decided yet. In fact there's a lot I'm still not a 100% on, even when entering into this third decade of life. Spicy food is a good example. There are times when I love me some spicy salsa, but I'm not going to go out and eat a jalapeno for a snack. At 30, I also don't feel I can say I'm a democrat, or a republican, although I know where I stand on certain key issues. I can't tell you with absolute certainty that we'll never own a cat, or that I won't go golfing. It would also be wrong to promise that I'm not going to the ice capades sometime in the next ten years.
However, 30, I will promise you with absolute certainty that I am ready for this decade. I am ready to try, ready to fail, ready to succeed. I'm ready to define, redefine, refine, renue and at times reject and be rejected. I'm ready to hold steady and at a moment's notice jump off course, do a u-turn and go another way. I'm ready to spend, and ready to save. I'm excited to plan for the unknown and walk unknowingly into certainty.
30, a while back 25 came along and messed me up. It told me I hadn't accomplished anything, it lied to me about its expectations and it left me thinking I had failed to live.
You are just the beginning of a decade of new. You are the newly paved road, the hallway of unopened doors and the mysterious woods at the end of the property line that undoubtedly hold both danger and fun, but invite all to sure adventure and will make for great stories to share and relive sometime while sitting out next to the fire when I'm old...like 75.
30, you will be conquered.
However, 30, I will promise you with absolute certainty that I am ready for this decade. I am ready to try, ready to fail, ready to succeed. I'm ready to define, redefine, refine, renue and at times reject and be rejected. I'm ready to hold steady and at a moment's notice jump off course, do a u-turn and go another way. I'm ready to spend, and ready to save. I'm excited to plan for the unknown and walk unknowingly into certainty.
30, a while back 25 came along and messed me up. It told me I hadn't accomplished anything, it lied to me about its expectations and it left me thinking I had failed to live.
You are just the beginning of a decade of new. You are the newly paved road, the hallway of unopened doors and the mysterious woods at the end of the property line that undoubtedly hold both danger and fun, but invite all to sure adventure and will make for great stories to share and relive sometime while sitting out next to the fire when I'm old...like 75.
30, you will be conquered.
4/27/09
Somethings From The Past
This morning with an insatiable desire to worship like I did in the days of my youth. I wanted to crank up some David Ruis' "Sweet Mercies" or Darrell Evans' "Freedom". I wanted to bask in an atmosphere of God with my best friends Jake and Ted. I miss those times.
Don't get me wrong, I love today. I love my wife, my son, my soon-to-be daughter. I am more than blessed by these people and every situation God has entrusted me with, but I miss the fellowship and worship I had with these great guys.
I guess this is where reading through the Psalms is becoming real for me. To read about David yearning so for God, to read about his appetite for the things of God, to read about his true desire to be with God...I think I'm getting there, or at least starting to.
God, continue to wreck me. Give me a true hunger for You, a, ever-increasing love for your Son, and a desire to walk more and more in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Don't get me wrong, I love today. I love my wife, my son, my soon-to-be daughter. I am more than blessed by these people and every situation God has entrusted me with, but I miss the fellowship and worship I had with these great guys.
I guess this is where reading through the Psalms is becoming real for me. To read about David yearning so for God, to read about his appetite for the things of God, to read about his true desire to be with God...I think I'm getting there, or at least starting to.
God, continue to wreck me. Give me a true hunger for You, a, ever-increasing love for your Son, and a desire to walk more and more in the power of the Holy Spirit.
1/30/09
Overwhelmed
Today Griffin and I were playing with the two bins of MegaBlocks my mother-in-law picked up from a garage sale. We were kinda just messing around, stacking small columns and building odd-shaped stacks. Sometimes its just fun to have no agenda and no plan.
Then I had a bright idea. I thought it would be fun if we built a tower, 2 blocks deep by four blocks wide. We started to build and Griffin would hand me blocks and I would continue to stack them. Sometimes he would take bits of the tower apart and bring them to another part of the living room and build little odd structures, but I just kept on building. Soon the tower of power out grew Griffin, then it got to the point where I now longer had to lean let alone bend over in order to stack the blocks. The tower grew taller and taller. I was on a mission to use every block in the two bins and get the tower as high as we could, as high as I could.
Griffin lost interest.
As soon as the tower rose too far for Griffin to reach the top, he was done, that is until he found out how much fun it was to tear my labor of love down into pieces. I know my my mother-in-law didn't buy these blocks for me, yet I took what Griffin and I were playing with together and started in on my own agenda. Our tower became my tower.
Right now I feel like Griffin. Life seems to be getting bigger and bigger and its not that I'm losing interest, but I'm getting overwhelmed. I don't want the feeling of being face to face with something so over my head to trigger apathy or worse yet abandonment. Maybe its the weather, maybe its the tasks at hand. Maybe its God moving us in another direction, to another group. Whatever it may be, I'm glad this blog will help trace the steps we're walking through.
For the ears: They Also Mourn Who Do Not Wear Black (For The Homeless In Muskegon) - Sufjan Stevens
For the mind: The Five Points of Calvinism - Edwin Palmer
For the heart: Knowing God - J.I. Packer
Then I had a bright idea. I thought it would be fun if we built a tower, 2 blocks deep by four blocks wide. We started to build and Griffin would hand me blocks and I would continue to stack them. Sometimes he would take bits of the tower apart and bring them to another part of the living room and build little odd structures, but I just kept on building. Soon the tower of power out grew Griffin, then it got to the point where I now longer had to lean let alone bend over in order to stack the blocks. The tower grew taller and taller. I was on a mission to use every block in the two bins and get the tower as high as we could, as high as I could.
Griffin lost interest.
As soon as the tower rose too far for Griffin to reach the top, he was done, that is until he found out how much fun it was to tear my labor of love down into pieces. I know my my mother-in-law didn't buy these blocks for me, yet I took what Griffin and I were playing with together and started in on my own agenda. Our tower became my tower.
Right now I feel like Griffin. Life seems to be getting bigger and bigger and its not that I'm losing interest, but I'm getting overwhelmed. I don't want the feeling of being face to face with something so over my head to trigger apathy or worse yet abandonment. Maybe its the weather, maybe its the tasks at hand. Maybe its God moving us in another direction, to another group. Whatever it may be, I'm glad this blog will help trace the steps we're walking through.
For the ears: They Also Mourn Who Do Not Wear Black (For The Homeless In Muskegon) - Sufjan Stevens
For the mind: The Five Points of Calvinism - Edwin Palmer
For the heart: Knowing God - J.I. Packer
1/25/09
Reflections from Habitat, The Pre-Season
Last night we kicked off our first gathering of Habitat Christian Community as we got together at Pioneer Park, Room A. It was a meeting with people, largely friends, who have expressed interest in being a part of this new community of faith. Some are newer to the area and haven't found a church, some have moved here to be a part of it, and others simply haven't found a place to call home yet. Last night, everyone seemed to be on the same page.
Mark and I, my brother-in-law and the best associate I could ask for, shared our hearts on the Gospel and how it transforms the individual. We taught Romans 5:6-11. Perhaps the most useful analogy that we used in wrapping up was this: When we are reconciled into God's family, adopted and given the family name, we cannot just sit around and wait for our inheritance. We're adopted into God's family and then as a love response to God, we take up the family business. We become agents of reconciliation. We become salt and light. We join Christ in the work of reconciliation.
Overall, I was thrilled with how we taught (tag team, verse by verse, concept by concept). I was moved through the worship response...thanks Charlie and Rebecca, and it was great to hang out for dinner after wards with Habitat.
Last night I saw the very beginning of the realization of something that I have been envisioning for the past four years. Honestly it was both extremely fulfilling and left me wanting more.
There have been a few times in life I knew I was made for this moment. Moments that felt surreal and at the same time compelling and confirming. Those that come to my mind are when the doors opened at the back of the church where Erin and I got married and I saw my bride for the first time while standign in front of our family and friends. Another was the first time I held my son and felt his skin against my cheek. Last night, sitting on a stool and sharing my heart with a group of people who were not obligated to come together, it felt right.
I've preached and have spoken to larger crowds. I have the opportunity to converse with people of high influence and more money. Last night, while worshipping my God, Lord and King with these young families and recent graduates, men and women in transition from their 20s to 30s, I could think of no place I'd rather be.
For the ears: Grace - U2
For the mind: A Celebration of Disciplines - Richard Foster
Mark and I, my brother-in-law and the best associate I could ask for, shared our hearts on the Gospel and how it transforms the individual. We taught Romans 5:6-11. Perhaps the most useful analogy that we used in wrapping up was this: When we are reconciled into God's family, adopted and given the family name, we cannot just sit around and wait for our inheritance. We're adopted into God's family and then as a love response to God, we take up the family business. We become agents of reconciliation. We become salt and light. We join Christ in the work of reconciliation.
Overall, I was thrilled with how we taught (tag team, verse by verse, concept by concept). I was moved through the worship response...thanks Charlie and Rebecca, and it was great to hang out for dinner after wards with Habitat.
Last night I saw the very beginning of the realization of something that I have been envisioning for the past four years. Honestly it was both extremely fulfilling and left me wanting more.
There have been a few times in life I knew I was made for this moment. Moments that felt surreal and at the same time compelling and confirming. Those that come to my mind are when the doors opened at the back of the church where Erin and I got married and I saw my bride for the first time while standign in front of our family and friends. Another was the first time I held my son and felt his skin against my cheek. Last night, sitting on a stool and sharing my heart with a group of people who were not obligated to come together, it felt right.
I've preached and have spoken to larger crowds. I have the opportunity to converse with people of high influence and more money. Last night, while worshipping my God, Lord and King with these young families and recent graduates, men and women in transition from their 20s to 30s, I could think of no place I'd rather be.
For the ears: Grace - U2
For the mind: A Celebration of Disciplines - Richard Foster
1/20/09
Be The Change
Taken from a note publish on my Facebook from Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Change. It is a word loaded with meaning and power. It is potential energy. By it self, change is safe, neutral, and benign. It is a noun, sitting there like some Pandora’s box, like an atom, a church, a body. Within it there is power, but on its own, it is simply a stable, solitary word. Link change to another noun and it transforms from potential energy to kinetic energy. This transformation is amazing, it is a switch that is thrown, a button that is pressed, a cord plugged into a power source and the result is action.
Change your mind.
Change your actions.
Change your world.
Change is more than a campaign slogan. It is more than a political platform; it is energy, movement and motion. Change as a verb can either unify or divide. On Election Day we all voted for change, no matter our candidate. We took part in an action greater than mere civic duty. Voices were heard, no matter if a ballot was cast. Action and inaction both resulted in reaction and a change has happened.
As citizens and active participants in this country it is now our duty to get behind our new leader, no matter the party, the ticket or platform and unite for change. Change from the top through legislation, special interest groups and “proper channels” is necessary, yet it can only accomplish so much. We need a grassroots, relational, human effort.
Don’t be defined by a party, don’t take the next four years to complain either about the current administration or the one we’re about to enter into. Be human, be a citizen and be responsible to those who you work with, live with, see everyday.
Change the economy. Do it locally. Do it relationally. Do it incrementally. Support local businesses and defy the urge to buy beyond budget.
Change the energy crisis. Do it residentially. Do it regularly. Do it one light bulb at a time and walk one errand a week.
Of course, some changes are not so easy. Healthcare. Immigration. War.
Yet change is possible.
For those who identify themselves with a political party the challenge to change means adopting an attitude beyond party lines. I had the privilege of growing up in a bipartisan home. Labor unions supported our family at times, and yet we were quite conservative in our views on choice. Big government and small government can work together, at the same time through the catalyst of people. Change can happen.
Change will happen, it happens daily. We wake up everyday and change occurs. Small, incremental changes result in momentum and movement. As Americans, beyond our party or demographic, it is our right and responsibility to take part in this nation. For those of us who call ourselves Christians and try to follow the example of Christ, it is our conviction to trust in the sovereign wisdom of God and live out the faith we have in Him. Simply, there is no room for fear. Christianity is not a political party, not subject to the definitions of party lines or tied to a candidate. We follow a Savior and Lord higher than government, yet it is within our everyday choices that we live out our convictions and show whom we believe Jesus to be. More often than not this looks like obedience rather than rebellion.
So today we can start by being the change. Living lives that affect those around us in a positive and real way. Today we live in a new America, a changed America. Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Americans, we must change our view from the heated party race we’ve been breathing and living within for the last two years and focus on our present reality and the challenges we face. Change will happen, but true change, lasting change is incremental and relational. We must be the change.
Change. It is a word loaded with meaning and power. It is potential energy. By it self, change is safe, neutral, and benign. It is a noun, sitting there like some Pandora’s box, like an atom, a church, a body. Within it there is power, but on its own, it is simply a stable, solitary word. Link change to another noun and it transforms from potential energy to kinetic energy. This transformation is amazing, it is a switch that is thrown, a button that is pressed, a cord plugged into a power source and the result is action.
Change your mind.
Change your actions.
Change your world.
Change is more than a campaign slogan. It is more than a political platform; it is energy, movement and motion. Change as a verb can either unify or divide. On Election Day we all voted for change, no matter our candidate. We took part in an action greater than mere civic duty. Voices were heard, no matter if a ballot was cast. Action and inaction both resulted in reaction and a change has happened.
As citizens and active participants in this country it is now our duty to get behind our new leader, no matter the party, the ticket or platform and unite for change. Change from the top through legislation, special interest groups and “proper channels” is necessary, yet it can only accomplish so much. We need a grassroots, relational, human effort.
Don’t be defined by a party, don’t take the next four years to complain either about the current administration or the one we’re about to enter into. Be human, be a citizen and be responsible to those who you work with, live with, see everyday.
Change the economy. Do it locally. Do it relationally. Do it incrementally. Support local businesses and defy the urge to buy beyond budget.
Change the energy crisis. Do it residentially. Do it regularly. Do it one light bulb at a time and walk one errand a week.
Of course, some changes are not so easy. Healthcare. Immigration. War.
Yet change is possible.
For those who identify themselves with a political party the challenge to change means adopting an attitude beyond party lines. I had the privilege of growing up in a bipartisan home. Labor unions supported our family at times, and yet we were quite conservative in our views on choice. Big government and small government can work together, at the same time through the catalyst of people. Change can happen.
Change will happen, it happens daily. We wake up everyday and change occurs. Small, incremental changes result in momentum and movement. As Americans, beyond our party or demographic, it is our right and responsibility to take part in this nation. For those of us who call ourselves Christians and try to follow the example of Christ, it is our conviction to trust in the sovereign wisdom of God and live out the faith we have in Him. Simply, there is no room for fear. Christianity is not a political party, not subject to the definitions of party lines or tied to a candidate. We follow a Savior and Lord higher than government, yet it is within our everyday choices that we live out our convictions and show whom we believe Jesus to be. More often than not this looks like obedience rather than rebellion.
So today we can start by being the change. Living lives that affect those around us in a positive and real way. Today we live in a new America, a changed America. Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Americans, we must change our view from the heated party race we’ve been breathing and living within for the last two years and focus on our present reality and the challenges we face. Change will happen, but true change, lasting change is incremental and relational. We must be the change.
1/16/09
The Problem of Potential
"I have to say, I'm so impressed with the potential you see in me."-Michael Scott.
Potential can be a whore...can I say that or rather type that? When paired with a fear of failure, potential can cripple and break someone. It's something I've wrestled with for much of my life. I am a person who is wrought with imagination. When someone mentions something to me, a concept, an idea, or some theory, I take it to a place I like to call "the world of potential and possibilities." Not like Mr. Roger's Land of Make Believe, rather I just start thinking about all the things that could be. Sometimes, somewhere I get swept up in the potential that I become certain of the imaginary and can think myself right out of the kinetic.
At times I think we're horrible stewards of potential. A parable of Jesus' that I have made my mission is that of the three servants found in Matthew 25:14-30. As Jesus explains the Kingdom of Heaven, he talks about three servants each entrusted with an investment by their master. Two of them see the potential for success and invest the money and upon their master's return, have doubled their investments. The other sees only the potential for failure and becomes so sure that failure is inevitable that he buries the money in the ground and upon the master's return he gives him his original investment back, without any loss...but without any gain.
This is one of many passages throughout the Bible that the Christian God seems to be saying to or through His people, "I've given you the potential, DO SOMETHING!" However, like the third servant, many of us give into the fear that potential brings. We operate as reactionaries rather than revolutionaries. We forget that God's purpose lies behind and within the potential, even failure at times is His intent. As my son was learning to walk, I knew he had to fall in order to understand the balance necessary to keep himself stable. I can't imagine that he would have ever grasped the practice of walking if I had never let go of his hands, and he had never fallen down.
As I've mentioned before, we're starting a new journey this year of pioneering a church in Arlington Heights, Illinois. In my mind I know what we can become. I see a people who are passionate about the Gospel. I see men and women engaged in the lives of their neighbors, coworkers, families and friends. I see people who are Biblically literate and who use their lives as investments from their Master. I see a church that can change the world, birthing other churches and raising up generations that live in true community with God, others and creation.
There's a lot of potential to both succeed and fail. To a point, I have to choose which will be our reality and invest wisely what has been entrusted to me, because the fear that can often accompany potential leads us to Michael Scott's other gem of wisdom from last night's The Office.
"My philosophy is this...don't ever, for any reason... do anything...to anyone....ever...for any reason, ever, no matter what...no matter where, or who, or who you are with...or where you are going, or where you've been...ever..."
An unhelathy view of potential will undoubtedly lead to failure, due to never turning it into motion.
For the ears: Amazing - Kanye West
For the eyes: The Office: The Duel
For the mind: Systematic Theology - Wayne Grudem
Potential can be a whore...can I say that or rather type that? When paired with a fear of failure, potential can cripple and break someone. It's something I've wrestled with for much of my life. I am a person who is wrought with imagination. When someone mentions something to me, a concept, an idea, or some theory, I take it to a place I like to call "the world of potential and possibilities." Not like Mr. Roger's Land of Make Believe, rather I just start thinking about all the things that could be. Sometimes, somewhere I get swept up in the potential that I become certain of the imaginary and can think myself right out of the kinetic.
At times I think we're horrible stewards of potential. A parable of Jesus' that I have made my mission is that of the three servants found in Matthew 25:14-30. As Jesus explains the Kingdom of Heaven, he talks about three servants each entrusted with an investment by their master. Two of them see the potential for success and invest the money and upon their master's return, have doubled their investments. The other sees only the potential for failure and becomes so sure that failure is inevitable that he buries the money in the ground and upon the master's return he gives him his original investment back, without any loss...but without any gain.
This is one of many passages throughout the Bible that the Christian God seems to be saying to or through His people, "I've given you the potential, DO SOMETHING!" However, like the third servant, many of us give into the fear that potential brings. We operate as reactionaries rather than revolutionaries. We forget that God's purpose lies behind and within the potential, even failure at times is His intent. As my son was learning to walk, I knew he had to fall in order to understand the balance necessary to keep himself stable. I can't imagine that he would have ever grasped the practice of walking if I had never let go of his hands, and he had never fallen down.
As I've mentioned before, we're starting a new journey this year of pioneering a church in Arlington Heights, Illinois. In my mind I know what we can become. I see a people who are passionate about the Gospel. I see men and women engaged in the lives of their neighbors, coworkers, families and friends. I see people who are Biblically literate and who use their lives as investments from their Master. I see a church that can change the world, birthing other churches and raising up generations that live in true community with God, others and creation.
There's a lot of potential to both succeed and fail. To a point, I have to choose which will be our reality and invest wisely what has been entrusted to me, because the fear that can often accompany potential leads us to Michael Scott's other gem of wisdom from last night's The Office.
"My philosophy is this...don't ever, for any reason... do anything...to anyone....ever...for any reason, ever, no matter what...no matter where, or who, or who you are with...or where you are going, or where you've been...ever..."
An unhelathy view of potential will undoubtedly lead to failure, due to never turning it into motion.
For the ears: Amazing - Kanye West
For the eyes: The Office: The Duel
For the mind: Systematic Theology - Wayne Grudem
1/14/09
Consumed
Have you ever been on path to something and it becomes all you can think about? Maybe its been an event like a baby, a wedding or your high school reunion; no matter how hard you try, you try and contain and compartmentalize the thoughts, but it fills very thought at every moment in a day.
Personally, I'm leading a group of people in the birthing or pioneering of a new church. I should probably state that this isn't just a bunch of Christians starting a new club. We're men and women who have been changed by Christ and gripped by the Gospel, and our purpose is two-fold, grow more and more in the image of Christ, and see our worlds (the places where we work, sleep, have fun, and dwell) impacted by and through Jesus as well. We're not hyper-Christian who will leave a Bible tract on a table instead of a tip for the waitress, rather just people who have started down a path of change, and are alive in Christ. Christianity is a life-long journey and we hope to walk together and bring others along.
At any rate, I can't stop thinking about who we will be, how we will operate and the impact we hope to have. Each morning I wake up thinking about the potential that lies within us and each evening I have been falling asleep praying that we would be a Church that exists in the presence of the Trinity. If I didn't know better I would call this obsession, but what I think it truly is is simply a rearranging of priorities. Redefining cool all over again. Its a transformation process, a metamorphosis. Hopefully its less of me and more of God.
For the ears: Olsen Olsen - Sigur Ros (the perfect snowy music)
For the mind: Systematic Theology - Wayne Grudem
For the heart: Romans 9
Personally, I'm leading a group of people in the birthing or pioneering of a new church. I should probably state that this isn't just a bunch of Christians starting a new club. We're men and women who have been changed by Christ and gripped by the Gospel, and our purpose is two-fold, grow more and more in the image of Christ, and see our worlds (the places where we work, sleep, have fun, and dwell) impacted by and through Jesus as well. We're not hyper-Christian who will leave a Bible tract on a table instead of a tip for the waitress, rather just people who have started down a path of change, and are alive in Christ. Christianity is a life-long journey and we hope to walk together and bring others along.
At any rate, I can't stop thinking about who we will be, how we will operate and the impact we hope to have. Each morning I wake up thinking about the potential that lies within us and each evening I have been falling asleep praying that we would be a Church that exists in the presence of the Trinity. If I didn't know better I would call this obsession, but what I think it truly is is simply a rearranging of priorities. Redefining cool all over again. Its a transformation process, a metamorphosis. Hopefully its less of me and more of God.
For the ears: Olsen Olsen - Sigur Ros (the perfect snowy music)
For the mind: Systematic Theology - Wayne Grudem
For the heart: Romans 9
1/8/09
ReDefining Cool
Before being a dad, or even a husband, I thought and felt differently. I was concerned in some way with cool, and how it affected my life. Cool came at the cost of convenience, the cost of peace and the cost of self. There has always been a paradox living inside me. We're not talking Jekyll and Hyde or some sort of split personality disorder, but more like a what I think holds all of us in balance. For some reason though, I gave myself permission to pursue the "cooler," yet the cooler was a facade of sorts.
I should point out that this wasn't a complete fabrication, a mask or persona I would wear. I enjoyed the cool, and yet at times I allowed the perspective opinions of society to drive me to give into the parts that weren't as genuine or true. Don't get me wrong, they were me, but not true, true to the point of essence, the smallest common denominator, a cellular representation of finite existence.
As a husband, father and future shepherd to a new flock of Christ followers, cool has been redefined as my priorities have shifted. No longer do I need to be an elitist, an early adopter or on the inside of all things juice (which is a word some us used to describe things that were cool). I still like my style, my music and certain ways that I choose to live and be, but my cool is new.
I now find my cool in the walks to Starbucks with my wife, in the giggles and hugs of my son, and in the never-ending quest to please my Father. In recent months I have been gripped by the Gospel and my priorities are shifting to be less about me and more about doing the will of Him. This will of God isn't a crusade, a jihad or street corner preaching; it's simply trying to live as salt and light in a world of artificial flavors and darkness. It's being a real friend to my neighbors and a neighbor to strangers. Its daily trying to be a loving and leading husband, and a father who demonstrates Christ to my son.
Being gripped by the Gospel isn't some sort of light switch that one simply turns on; it is an ongoing process of discipline and freedom, sacrifice and reward, constantly falling short and yet being lifted up by the one who never falls.
2009 is about the redefining of cool for me. It's about faith, risk, forgiveness and a whole lot of new. Its a continual transformation of my priorities and a shift of focus, it can be a slow and painful process at times, and that is what this whole thing is, a process. The redefining of cool is more than new style, it is a process concerned with priorities; renamed and renewed.
For the ears: Fleet Foxes (Self-Titled) - Fleet Foxes
For the eyes: 30 Rock
For the mind: A Celebration of Disciplines - Richard Foster
I should point out that this wasn't a complete fabrication, a mask or persona I would wear. I enjoyed the cool, and yet at times I allowed the perspective opinions of society to drive me to give into the parts that weren't as genuine or true. Don't get me wrong, they were me, but not true, true to the point of essence, the smallest common denominator, a cellular representation of finite existence.
As a husband, father and future shepherd to a new flock of Christ followers, cool has been redefined as my priorities have shifted. No longer do I need to be an elitist, an early adopter or on the inside of all things juice (which is a word some us used to describe things that were cool). I still like my style, my music and certain ways that I choose to live and be, but my cool is new.
I now find my cool in the walks to Starbucks with my wife, in the giggles and hugs of my son, and in the never-ending quest to please my Father. In recent months I have been gripped by the Gospel and my priorities are shifting to be less about me and more about doing the will of Him. This will of God isn't a crusade, a jihad or street corner preaching; it's simply trying to live as salt and light in a world of artificial flavors and darkness. It's being a real friend to my neighbors and a neighbor to strangers. Its daily trying to be a loving and leading husband, and a father who demonstrates Christ to my son.
Being gripped by the Gospel isn't some sort of light switch that one simply turns on; it is an ongoing process of discipline and freedom, sacrifice and reward, constantly falling short and yet being lifted up by the one who never falls.
2009 is about the redefining of cool for me. It's about faith, risk, forgiveness and a whole lot of new. Its a continual transformation of my priorities and a shift of focus, it can be a slow and painful process at times, and that is what this whole thing is, a process. The redefining of cool is more than new style, it is a process concerned with priorities; renamed and renewed.
For the ears: Fleet Foxes (Self-Titled) - Fleet Foxes
For the eyes: 30 Rock
For the mind: A Celebration of Disciplines - Richard Foster
1/5/09
Discipline and Joy: 88 Keys, 6 Strings, and a Slide Trombone
We've got a piano in our house. Its a brown upright piano that my wife grew up playing at her parent's house. She and her little sister spent hours sitting on the padded bench practicing Beethoven and Bach. Erin, my wife, still plays. Every so often she'll open the bench, place the sheet music on the piano, she'll sit and place her fingers on the keys, and harmonies will drift through our home. I've often sat on the bench, placed my fingers on the keys and have created what could be considered very avant-garde dissonance.
I've got all sorts of friends who are excellent musicians, a lot of them played in local bands or at churches. Jake, one of my best friends growing up, could pick up his guitar and play almost anything he heard or saw. He also excelled, and still does, at the piano and drums. I always admired his talent and how, just by utilizing six strings, he could completely change the atmosphere of any room.
I should say at this point that for a year and half I was a musician. I remember the day in fourth grade when the band teacher came to our classroom in order for those who were interested to try out the band's instruments. As the instructor played each instrument, those brass and woodwinds seemed so magical as if anyone who was willing could produce beautiful note after note and create songs and melodies.
As I browsed through my choices and knew exactly what I wanted to play, the trumpet. I grew up listening to all sorts of music and the trumpet represent the sound, daring and loud, that I wanted to make. Yet when I got to the instructor, she said my lips were too big and I was sentenced to play the trombone. Nothing personal to trombone players, but I really wanted to play the trumpet, yet had I known ska would have been big in high school, I may have been okay with the trombone. Alas, I stuck with the trombone for about a year and half. And to be honest, I hated practicing. I just wanted to play, not practice for what seemed like an eternity everyday. The monotony of practice felt more like a prison than an object of passion. My band teacher knew it too, it was obvious during each class that I wasn't putting my time in. I wasn't performing my pieces well, and I wasn't keeping up with the other kids who wanted to truly play and practiced in order to do so.
I say all this because I still want to be a musician. I think about being the guy who sits down at the piano at some party and starts playing insanely cool covers of songs that move people to laugh and dance. I want to be the expert, just not the novice. Let's fast-forward through the scales and wrong notes and get to Ray Charles "Shake a Tail Feather", Van Morrison's "Brown Eye Girl", or even a bit of John Legend. But the joy of playing music comes only through the discipline of practicing.
This year I am trying to focus on the Spiritual Disciplines, not in order to abstain from behaviors or merely train myself to be holier, but to be able to practice living a life that will enable me to obtain the joy of truly living. One may ask how do meditation, fasting, solitude and other practices accomplish this, after all such acts seem like they focus denial, sacrifice or exclusion. I think Richard Foster puts it best: " [the Spiritual Disciplines] put us where He can work within us and transform us. By themselves the Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing; they can only get us to the place where something can be done. They are God's means of grace."
So what does it all mean? Why go through it? Because I desire to be a man after God's heart, yet there is so much about me that rebels against it. Yet through practicing the Spiritual Disciplines I put myself in a place where change is possible. What starts as discipline becomes joy. The chords and scales become music and song. What may feel like at times like a prison of practice becomes a passionate way to live life. Who knows, I may even start playing a bit more of the 88 keys, but I think sitting down and playing Coldplay might be a bit far off still.
I've got all sorts of friends who are excellent musicians, a lot of them played in local bands or at churches. Jake, one of my best friends growing up, could pick up his guitar and play almost anything he heard or saw. He also excelled, and still does, at the piano and drums. I always admired his talent and how, just by utilizing six strings, he could completely change the atmosphere of any room.
I should say at this point that for a year and half I was a musician. I remember the day in fourth grade when the band teacher came to our classroom in order for those who were interested to try out the band's instruments. As the instructor played each instrument, those brass and woodwinds seemed so magical as if anyone who was willing could produce beautiful note after note and create songs and melodies.
As I browsed through my choices and knew exactly what I wanted to play, the trumpet. I grew up listening to all sorts of music and the trumpet represent the sound, daring and loud, that I wanted to make. Yet when I got to the instructor, she said my lips were too big and I was sentenced to play the trombone. Nothing personal to trombone players, but I really wanted to play the trumpet, yet had I known ska would have been big in high school, I may have been okay with the trombone. Alas, I stuck with the trombone for about a year and half. And to be honest, I hated practicing. I just wanted to play, not practice for what seemed like an eternity everyday. The monotony of practice felt more like a prison than an object of passion. My band teacher knew it too, it was obvious during each class that I wasn't putting my time in. I wasn't performing my pieces well, and I wasn't keeping up with the other kids who wanted to truly play and practiced in order to do so.
I say all this because I still want to be a musician. I think about being the guy who sits down at the piano at some party and starts playing insanely cool covers of songs that move people to laugh and dance. I want to be the expert, just not the novice. Let's fast-forward through the scales and wrong notes and get to Ray Charles "Shake a Tail Feather", Van Morrison's "Brown Eye Girl", or even a bit of John Legend. But the joy of playing music comes only through the discipline of practicing.
This year I am trying to focus on the Spiritual Disciplines, not in order to abstain from behaviors or merely train myself to be holier, but to be able to practice living a life that will enable me to obtain the joy of truly living. One may ask how do meditation, fasting, solitude and other practices accomplish this, after all such acts seem like they focus denial, sacrifice or exclusion. I think Richard Foster puts it best: " [the Spiritual Disciplines] put us where He can work within us and transform us. By themselves the Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing; they can only get us to the place where something can be done. They are God's means of grace."
So what does it all mean? Why go through it? Because I desire to be a man after God's heart, yet there is so much about me that rebels against it. Yet through practicing the Spiritual Disciplines I put myself in a place where change is possible. What starts as discipline becomes joy. The chords and scales become music and song. What may feel like at times like a prison of practice becomes a passionate way to live life. Who knows, I may even start playing a bit more of the 88 keys, but I think sitting down and playing Coldplay might be a bit far off still.
1/1/09
About Basik Being...
This is a non comprehensive guide to myself and some of the things that this be held in this space. I guess to define things, I'm a person whose been gripped by the Gospel and who daily strives to become more like the One who he follows (sometimes this is more prevalent than other times). However it is this faith, Christianity, that shapes who I am and my worldview. At times in the past I have seen it as a liability or some sort of sacred disease to be hidden from some and lived out with others. However, when life is truly lived, beliefs and worldviews, let alone life-transforming forces like that of the Christian faith can no longer be compartmentalized. Even today, the first day of a new year, a day that finds me closer to thirty than twenty nine, a day that has begun like any other, my faith is shaping me (and I haven't even had breakfast yet).
So other than a Christian (or Christ-follower for the cool kids), I'm a husband and father. My wife's patience is a testimony to the success of or marriage. She married a dreamer and I know there are days where she just chooses to laugh at some of the things I come up with, which is probably the best thing to do with someone like me (think Ulysses Everett McGill, GOB, and a very small touch of Bono, just not nearly as cool, musical or Irish, but with the mindset to change the world). Needless to say, the marriage thing is fun and enlightening...as is fatherhood.
As a dad, I'm constantly learning about God through my relationship with my son, who inscidently is hilarious and at 20 months, loves to play cars, play the piano, play drums on anything and at times pretend he's asleep until he gets tickled and ends up laughing hysterically.
What else can I say? According to Marcus Buckingham's Strengthsfinder, I'm a futurist, activator, belief, positivity and significance. In relation to the DISC test, I'm a DIC (which my brother-in-law frequently reminds me about). I love entrepenural ventures, I've got my own, and in the fall I'll be with a group of people starting a new church in the Chicago suburbs.
Hopefully this will be the place I can write about a lot of this stuff and other things that affect me and those around me. I promise this won't be a place where I rant and rave, you and I both don't need that sort of thing.
Have a transforming New Year.
So other than a Christian (or Christ-follower for the cool kids), I'm a husband and father. My wife's patience is a testimony to the success of or marriage. She married a dreamer and I know there are days where she just chooses to laugh at some of the things I come up with, which is probably the best thing to do with someone like me (think Ulysses Everett McGill, GOB, and a very small touch of Bono, just not nearly as cool, musical or Irish, but with the mindset to change the world). Needless to say, the marriage thing is fun and enlightening...as is fatherhood.
As a dad, I'm constantly learning about God through my relationship with my son, who inscidently is hilarious and at 20 months, loves to play cars, play the piano, play drums on anything and at times pretend he's asleep until he gets tickled and ends up laughing hysterically.
What else can I say? According to Marcus Buckingham's Strengthsfinder, I'm a futurist, activator, belief, positivity and significance. In relation to the DISC test, I'm a DIC (which my brother-in-law frequently reminds me about). I love entrepenural ventures, I've got my own, and in the fall I'll be with a group of people starting a new church in the Chicago suburbs.
Hopefully this will be the place I can write about a lot of this stuff and other things that affect me and those around me. I promise this won't be a place where I rant and rave, you and I both don't need that sort of thing.
Have a transforming New Year.
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